Coorelations between obedience & stress.


If I had to describe what genuine obedience feels like, it would be the word stress. Being perfect is not easy. Especially when that perfect is anything but your perfect. A slave knows his/her own will is irrelevant; whenever another Being is present, that Being’s best interest is priority. It is not a switch you can just turn off. Selflessness is an innate quality, no? You can imagine how detrimental free-will can be in the hands of someone who intrinsically supplies it to any stranger needing the ammo. Would he/she not be safer relinquishing all that power into responsible, educated hands? Exhausting, the stress attached to always being that lesser person all the time. My first and only Master (we will call him Pseudo) unveiled how stressful such a relationship can be. After months of not speaking he contacts me and asks, “briana, have you been practicing since we last spoke”? Mind you, he catfished me. It took me a second to realize how much pleasure I got from doing insane things that I would never do alone.

Being at the whim of his every need 24/7 for months, not to mention all the physical expenditure. It was all only, for the superfluous reward of making him happy. How rewarding to see another genuinely happy in the person they are…the choices they make…the choice to own you. I just do not have the time nor patience to fist my ass for an hour. But, the reward in making your ruler happy, even if for a split second, oh my god how wet a girl can get. It is that innate switch. To be genuinely obedient is stressful because you are suffering pain you hate, for another who more than likely, does not even recognize your efforts. There are really only certain soul-mates* that can turn on your switch for thralldom. Perhaps it is an understatement to say, there are not many people out there who can arouse that “altruistic desire” in us. 😉


Try and hang around the people who know what they want. They tend to…well, know what they want. You could viably classify these subspecies as “grounded” individuals. These guys actually see what is going on around them. Personally, one of my most enticing piece of the M/s relationship is the “grounded” dynamic of it. Both parties come in knowing their needs, and together welcome the insatiable exploration of their collective, and not-so collective, wants. What are some benefits in spending so much alone time as a child, ergo, learning all of what you are during your 20’s? Dominance over your life and submission to reality.

Image the ability to see what others do. I mean we are all looking at the same tree but, Bob is getting upset; Jill is crying; Ashley is taking a damn selfie and Mike is shooting up. Reality says it is a tree but, we place that inevitable filter over our eyes, thus seeing something entirely different. Imagine knowing what that filter looks like for others…how much power you could potentially possess. It is up to you how you use such information-for a slave it is the most beautiful gift. It is a way in. Once you see what others do, the inferences for their reservations, beliefs, and thought processes, all start pouring out.


In example, there is nothing I can do about the fact that men are the alpha-males on planet Earth. I get it: men rule, women drool. Most men have come to accept this and have it in their filter; I cannot change that, but I can act accordingly. Every man’s hand I shake, I make the ambitious attempt to bust every metacarpal in his hand. It is comical really, due to the principle that I can never appear of higher value to anyone I have to act completely oblivious. “Oh, oh my god, I am so sorry, Sir!” I can truthfully state that there have been too many times when I had to verbally apologize for hurting them. Is there nothing more liberating than having to apologize to the most powerful alpha-male species on the planet for being more Domineering? Even though you cannot change the game (the people or the cards they hold), you can reign in any situation from knowing their cards.

It is so exciting to be playing on the same team with another once in a while. Is it not the most riveting feeling in the world when you are accepted for your socially immoral behavior and thoughts? Being that extension, allows for withdrawal from the mind completely, as in meditation. No longer burdened by a volatile will. No more battling the selfish authority to always choose the choice best suited for it. Now, all its choices are in regard to His/Her’s best interest-no longer held down by its own. After being molded into His/Her perfect fantasy, how simple it is to please with such a well voiced, dumbed-down manual. No excuses, no variables, and no risky gambling in the choices we inevitably must make. There is a right and wrong (though those rights and wrongs may change), but for the most part life can be most pleasurable when it is being supplied by Him/Her who knows how.

*soulmate (IMO): a person who is on the same conscious level as another.


Question Everything.


Questions (Part I)

What does psychoanalysis mean to you? When you sit down, face-to-face with someone, how long does it take you to elucidate the entire gamut of their psyche? Who other than The Intuitive Master, could be more conscious of the benefits in comprehending the mind of another?

It is not difficult to formulate an ass-load of questions after seeing through someone. At least that is a start. There is so much more in observing others, than just seeing right through their shallow, rotting flesh. Phonetic tone, corporeal movement, carnal presentation, pupil placement…. The body is akin to a beautiful symphony; each manipulation more exquisite than the last. Perspective is everything and it is nothing. In order to learn the impediments and benefits of perspective you must first inquire.


We are a product of our thought. Consequently, understanding a preponderance of perspective allows you insight in what you have yet, to notice. Personally, this is why I am so attracted to the older, powerful generation. Most extremely successful men know manipulation very well. Their understanding of emotion is tantamount to my own-irrelevant. Emotions in business (and life) bare the similar effects competitive inhibitors have on enzymes.  Both are impediments.  Instead of seeing things for what they are, “norms” reach conclusions through collectiveness. Something is because something else is not. Without comparison how does one  reach a definition?

Life is so short, paradoxically infinite….

The answers do not seem to be the hardest aspect of a question, it is the thought of change that obstructs us. Changing perspective, action(s), demeanor, and/or lifestyle is nothing short of terrifying. Maybe that is why so many people are afraid to ask the hard questions. It might be easier being ignorant but, is that living?  Why is safety in one’s own psyche so misleadingly irreplaceable? It is not even tangible; how could it be safe? What is safety to you? Baggy clothes, control, structure, ownership? Contemplate, question…question fucking everything. Infatuate yourself with the bleeding desire to be corrected…validated…expected…. Beauty is Pain and so is hustling through uncharted territory (change).


The bigger picture says “Yes. Any answer can be attained through a question.”  However, when “norms” come to inquiring about the illusive there is no grey area. Like every function, each input relates exclusively to one output. There is only one correct question for each desired answer. Consequently, the vaster your innate inquisition, the speedier the trial [and error]. I fear that is why I am a sexist pig. Women tend to use this concept opposingly. Purposefully and selfishly evading information, coercing us to inquire more. It is a pathetic attempt to change people’s interest in them. You cannot change people, especially their interests. Interest is intrinsic passion, not transgenic fabric. So, perhaps we should think again before deceptively painting an optical illusion just to make a certain moment more interesting.

Is role-playing not a mind game?


Anyone can play the game, we are all intelligent primates. But are you successful in the game of life?

People condemn me for seeing gold whenever a fearless man, in an ridiculously over-priced suit walks into the room. But that gold, far from corporeal, is remarkably empowering.  There is a clear distinction between the confident and the “entitled”.   The former enslaves me, men and women.  They handle me so well and there is nothing a slave loves more than direction.  The addiction of feeling so useless may be an unhealthy one, but where else do you get the opportunity to unravel yourself completely at the feet of an undefeated, Dominant, game winner? Do not be afraid to question yourself, break down, and reset. Admitting defeat to yourself in lieu of another sure tastes better…does it not? 

Taste me.  Taste not only what secretion-You solely endenger-between my legs and down my thighs, but this shit upstairs too.  I would be a misrepresentation of altruism if I only enjoyed the voluntary action of asking myself and others questions.  What about being questioned by another flawed Being?  Mmm…humiliation.  


Psychopaths appear unprincipled but, at least we know what the fuck is going on. A great businessman is systematic, He leaves his heart at home, with His property. People who do not understand the allure in this, tend to be pissed. Well, is anger not to fear as judgment is to misunderstanding? Hmm.

Master the liquidation of emotion. Live off of all the fuckers who violently and unrelentingly remain below you. Go ahead and pretend they are winning…fool them a little while longer, it will subdue their need to compete. Sadistic but riveting, to see the false belief in others because of your perfectly sinister “ignorance”. Playing dumb can teach you a lot more than always playing smart. I mean, if you have the upper hand, who cares who knows. 



“Jack of all trades, master of none, though oftentimes better than master of one.”





Are we all not?


They call it an unhealthy obsession, I call it unconditional love.

They say it must be in moderation, I claim its shear passion.

Society likes role-playing.  Hell, it is an alluring proposition; playing the game without commitment of responsibility; freedom to change roles fluidly as you please; comforting dissociation.  It is easy in finding a hobby but, what a challenge finding a lifestyle.  Lifestyle choices reflect passion(s).  Those of you who understand, without question, take your work home with you.  Step back, look at the bigger picture; go ahead look down…are your feet pointed in the right direction?


Misunderstood.  No choice but to say, “Thank you, Sir” after painfully misrepresented. Imagine, a child, permitted only to observe judgement, never to use it.   Foolishly trusting everyone and everything.  You surely can relate to the malignant pain and anguish from: being walked all over, insatiably perceived as weak, without freedom to speak freely.  Martyring for man-kind…the only kind that too, martyr’s [blindly].  Alas, the only true reward for us “slaves” is the only one we observe.


Misunderstood and loving life.  If you find yourself as the people pleaser, pushover, “submissive”, and socially labeled as the weak…you either prevail or crumble.  Ironically, I love being the “bigger” person, as it means always remaining below.  It freaks people out, it fucks them up so bad that they operationalize kindness as ulterior motive.   I say, “Thank you, Sir” he replies, “Your welcome slave”.  Wait….   do I know you? 


Why encourage definition without regard to the credibility of the source?  Life is what it is, dear.   Let them think you are a piece of shit, accept that willful power you now possess- the skill to subdue society through false propaganda.  Attributable to your DSM-5 diagnosed disorder, skeptics will be morbidly baffled by your successes.  Nowadays, a simple eloping is more valued than achieving 4 days clean and sober.  Perception.  It is not the disorder that impedes; it is the definition, label, and criterium.  The only fault in being faulty is missing that necessary learned trait to arm yourself for similar projected dilemmas.

Failure is the missed lesson.


As a former junky, I was anything but misunderstood.  The criteria for substance abuse is pretty cut and dry: obsession with using, cannot function properly in society, repeated use despite the known consequences, etc. (American Psychiatric Association, 2013).  Ironically, I have noticed lately, that it is my bat shit crazy “normal” state-of-mind that people are finding hard to label.  Now, that you have your shit together, you are being interrogated…every day.  A few weeks ago, my (star-child) little sister borrowed some of my tasteless photos from this blog and made the Executive decision that sharing them with my entire family would be the befitting thing to do.  Hey, I knew it was coming.  But, to also tell them I am back on smack and that my enrollment in school is a farce?  Not a week later another woman found my ongoing friendship with a good friend sacrilegious and threatened to blackmail me by similar means …A little late sweetheart, my own flesh and blood beat you to it.   😉


I am not trying to fuel the fire behind misrepresentation, rather, I want to point out the importance of self-discipline in your principles and how they can be easily adhered to despite societal misrepresentation.  Labeled “unhealthy”, because all I want to do is nod my head, open wide and thank you for correcting me?  I have been involuntarily detained because I would not believe in anything else but servitude.  The battle is the submission; kneeling before someone else’s demons…now that is what I call war.  The allure to me in servitude is being silently stronger than the Master who allows you the permission to step inside and heal.  It is a godly feeling.  As a submissive gives the gift of submission; she transfers the gift of energy.  This may go right over your head, but for the few who know what encompasses self-actualization; when you reach that peak on Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs, you begin to parallel a life in prison-without parole. 


Misunderstood.  But, is it not worse to be unattainable?  Everyone will misread your Being and only a handful will be interested in why that is.  I have consciously and willingly offered my exclusive service to less than a dozen men, in exchange for inclusive correction.  There must be an intrinsic Dominant trait I am missing here because no one seems capable of putting me in my place without emotional influence.  Only but a psychopath…. 

…Psychopathy takes the form of wisdom, as a result it lacks [social] construct validity.  A sampling frame of psychopaths is a true representation of the sage population.  Without a little insanity, one could never see the bigger picture.  Do you see it?  Go ahead, no one is watching.


Why condone psychopathy?  If the outward perception is maintained the internal power is marvelous.  Who holds the true power: The one who perceives he is taking what belongs to him; or he who willingly permits the palpable action to occur?  You cannot give something that has already been taken; antithetically, you cannot take something that is already surrendered.



*Sidenote:  Where is my psychohaph?


American Psychiatric Association. (2013). Diagnostic and statistical manual of mental                     disorders (5th ed.). Arlington, VA: American Psychiatric Publishing.

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